Grumpy? Tired? Looking to let off some steam?
Most of us know just what to say or do to get things off to a bang.
I know that more than one complaint in a row is a sure-fire way to get my husband to flare. And he knows that if he rolls his eyes when I’m talking, it will take great effort on my part to not go on the attack.
You’d think we’d have the good sense to never, ever speak the “magic” words that make things go from bad to worse. But… unfortunately we don’t.
When tension runs high—when we’re irritated or disappointed or not getting our way—using our secret weapon can be hard to resist.
No, don’t try to claim innocence, as in I had no idea this would upset him. And, no, tone of voice makes no difference at all when you’re calling someone an ass.
There’s no way that adding the word “sweetie” will take the edge off a jab, and when you think, I really shouldn’t say this, you’re probably right.
While this is by no means a definitive list, here are some tried and true openers that will get your partner on the defensive lickety-split:
1. You want to do WHAT?
2. Oh, brother.
3. First of all…
4. I thought we already talked about this.
6. Are you serious?
7. I don’t mean to piss you off, but…
8. Oh, YOU’RE one to talk.
10. What kind of an idiot would…?
11. What’s to talk about???
12. Oh give it a rest.
13. You never… You always…
14. Here we go again.
15. Now you sound just like your mother.
16. Just sayin’.
17. Do I really have to ask you a second time?
18. I can’t believe this.
19. I’m not the one trying to start a fight.
20. Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be so sensitive.
Any of these sound familiar? Want to add some to the list? The point, of course, is to strike these nasty moves from your repertoire, to be friends and not foes.
Please use the buttons below to share this post with others!
Sign up to get your FREE Speaking of Marriage Gift Pack: 75 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Starting Today— plus weekly blog posts delivered straight to your inbox.
Check out my Facebook page for this week’s cartoon!