Winifred M. Reilly, M.A., MFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in marital therapy and relationship issues, with a private practice in Berkeley, CA.
In her nearly forty years of clinical practice she has treated many hundreds of couples — some seeking guidance for an essentially sound relationship that is encountering difficulty and many who were convinced they were headed for divorce.
Ms. Reilly has been a guest lecturer on marriage and sexuality, has made numerous podcast and radio appearances, and has been interviewed as a relationship expert by Web MD, Real Simple, HuffPost Live, and The New York Times. Her work has appeared on The Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, and xoJane.
She is valued for her positive yet practical approach to the inevitable challenges all couples face, believing that even the most troubled relationships can be repaired through proper guidance, encouragement, and hard work. Regardless of how challenging the issues.
Her book, It Takes One To Tango, (Simon and Schuster, April 2017) explains why relationships are so predictably frustrating and difficult and shows what partners can do — unilaterally — to create significant and lasting positive change in their marriage.
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You can find out more about me and my psychotherapy practice on my website: www.winifredreilly.com
Speaking of Marriage 
thank you for your thoughtful insights. i am glad i found your blog through your nytimes.com comment. we are working through having the same issue -codependency on being ok through our partner using byron katie. we have no infidelity issues but i can use your wisdom for our own set of issues. i will follow your blog and ask my husband to also.
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I’m glad you found my blog. I’ll be writing about a wide range of couples issues. Always happy to hear readers comments, including thoughts about what you might want me to talk about in future posts.
Thanks.
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I stumbled upon your blog today and was so pleasantly surprised to have done so. Reading your writing feels like listening to a wise person who’s been around the block, but still recognizes different ways of making that trip. I’ve bookmarked you and will look forward to your posts. Thank you for taking the time to write and share your experiences; they’re insightful, truthful and offer hope.
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Thank you.
I post on Sundays.
(You can also sign up for new posts to show up in your email inbox)
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Winifred,
I couldn’t for the life of me find a “like” button here.
Cheers.
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Even a great navigator cannot find what does not exist!
Will see to it that I get one
Thanks.
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Winifred thanks for taking part in Project O! I hope this experience was what you were expecting! -OM
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Thank you for being a part of Project R, Winifred.
I look forward to future collaborations. I will be initiating discussion posts marked by the subtitle Let’s Talk Opinion.
There will be a lot to get our teeth into, including more posts about relationships, although your insights in any category are very welcome! I look forward to reading your views.
Warm regards,
Vic
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Hi Winifred. Unilateral change sounds very intriguing. The older I get, the more I think change is possible, but it really is true about the light bulb wanting to change. 🙂
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Ha! Funny about the lightbulb. And true.
I guess we come to this understanding after we’ve tried everything we can think of to change those around us.
Thanks for coming by.
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IMO, Winifred + Susan = 2x wonderful ladies
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Glad we’ve met!
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Dear Winifred, I have nominated your blog for the Blog of the Year Award. I am not sure whether you accept WordPress awards or not, but this was an opportunity for me to promote your wonderful writing, so I decided to go ahead with it regardless. I hope you don’t mind. Here is the link to the award: http://shardsofsilence.wordpress.com/2013/12/02/another-star-for-the-blog-of-the-year-award/
Warm regards,
Vic
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Have you ever made a simple – but honest – statistics of how many couples have you treated and how many have you actually saved, in your career?
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I actually never totaled how many couples I’ve worked with in my thirty+ years. Many, many hundreds, edging toward 1000.
As for saving marriages, I think couples save their own marriages. I think of myself as an advisor and a guide (as well as an experienced spouse!) The work, however, is in the hands of the couple.
A great majority of the couples I see stay together, but that is, at least in part, due to the fact that they sought help in the first place and were motivated to work things out.
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Happy to find your blog again 🙂 Good luck with your book project and I hope you’re having a good Sunday.
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Thanks. So glad you enjoy my blog!
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What a great blog! :)Thank You!
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Glad you like it. 🙂
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I am so delighted to have seen your blog shared on FB. Your wisdom is profound and can be applied to aspects of all relationships. Heading toward 40th anniversary. I will definitely follow your blog … with gratitude.
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Thanks! Congratulations on your 40 years.
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