What to Do Besides Shop for Groceries & Worry About the Virus

IMG_0804Looking for something helpful—and inspiring—to do now that you’re stuck in the house together… or will be soon?

My colleague Anne Nelson, an internationally credentialed coach with a passion for helping couples get unstuck in their relationships, has putting together a free video interview series, Marriage Mastery: Transforming Conflict into Connection and Avoidance into Intimacy.

In it, she’s interviewed 29 relationship experts, including me, to get our best, most practical advice for achieving a fulfilling, enriching, fun, intimate marriage.

I’ll be talking tomorrow, March 15th, about the power one partner has to make lasting, positive change, no matter how stuck or discouraged they are, even if their partner isn’t ready to join in the effort.

It all starts today, March 14, and you can sign up here at no cost:

Make Your Marriage What You Want It To Be. Sign Up Here.

Once you do, you’ll discover expert advice on how to build a marriage that lasts a lifetime. You’ll learn how to communicate intimately without chronic conflict, how to improve your teamwork in life and in parenting, and how to enrich your sexual intimacy.

We’re covering what character disorders look like (and how to cultivate a great marriage when one or both members of the couple have one), and how to rebuild trust between people.

Plus, you’ll discover the difference between power and control in a marriage, and how to parent well without losing your identity as a couple.

In short, you’ll walk away with the tools and knowledge you need to cultivate a marriage that is more sane and more fun; a relationship that not only lasts, but serves as a source of great joy and self-discovery.

If you’d like to join the conversation, reserve your spot here, at no cost:

Your Marriage Is Worth Fighting For. Discover How To Make It Fulfilling! 

Consider this a “one-stop shop” for optimizing your marriage—and it’s all complimentary!
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As always, I welcome your comments and questions.

7 Short and Sweet Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

Holding HandsYou’ve heard the advice a million times: Have a regular date night. Spend quality time. Don’t let your relationship fall to the bottom of your to-do list.

And it’s true. Without making time to connect, we end up living like roommates, or business partners, rather than lovers.

But for many of us, time is in short supply. Our days are so packed that by the time the dishes are done or the kids are (finally) in bed, or we’ve answered that one last pressing email, or made that one last call, all we want to do is veg out on the couch.

Here’s the good news: You don’t need four course candle lit dinners or long weekends away to rekindle the sweet, loving parts of being a couple:

1. When time is short, the last thing you need is to be multitasking when you’ve finally got time together. Never mind Facebook while you’re watching a movie. Turn off your phone during dinner and when you’re out running errands together, and, most important of all, when you’ve climbed into bed.

2. Too tired to talk? Put your hand on his arm. Take hold of her hand. And not just for a second.

3. Back when we had young kids, I initiated something called the “five minute date.” The theory behind this was to get the good stuff we got from a night out together— no talk about work, or logistics, or the leak in the sink—without hiring a babysitter or leaving the house. No couple is too frazzled to sit for a few minutes on the back steps together with a cup of tea or a shared piece of pie, watching for shooting stars or just saying hi.

soap and towels11841860_s4. Yes, mornings are busy, but we all need to shower. Why not surprise your spouse and make it a shower for two?

5. Story time isn’t only for kids. Rather than reading in bed side-by-side—one of my favorite pastimes—pick something you both like, and read to each other. Or, for a change, download a book from Audible and let someone else do the reading. Don’t be surprised if you drift off to sleep.

6. Remember that song you picked for your first dance? Put it on after dinner and ask, “May I have this dance?” Set it on repeat. The dishes can wait.

7. Instead of that air kiss you give on the way out the door, kiss your sweetie goodbye the way you did when you were dating. Even more challenging, stick with it for ten seconds. One caveat: You might not want to leave.
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Looking to have a more satisfying marriage? Check out my new book, It Takes One to Tango.

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This post first appeared on Tips on Life and Love, from Simon & Schuster