What to Do Besides Shop for Groceries & Worry About the Virus

IMG_0804Looking for something helpful—and inspiring—to do now that you’re stuck in the house together… or will be soon?

My colleague Anne Nelson, an internationally credentialed coach with a passion for helping couples get unstuck in their relationships, has putting together a free video interview series, Marriage Mastery: Transforming Conflict into Connection and Avoidance into Intimacy.

In it, she’s interviewed 29 relationship experts, including me, to get our best, most practical advice for achieving a fulfilling, enriching, fun, intimate marriage.

I’ll be talking tomorrow, March 15th, about the power one partner has to make lasting, positive change, no matter how stuck or discouraged they are, even if their partner isn’t ready to join in the effort.

It all starts today, March 14, and you can sign up here at no cost:

Make Your Marriage What You Want It To Be. Sign Up Here.

Once you do, you’ll discover expert advice on how to build a marriage that lasts a lifetime. You’ll learn how to communicate intimately without chronic conflict, how to improve your teamwork in life and in parenting, and how to enrich your sexual intimacy.

We’re covering what character disorders look like (and how to cultivate a great marriage when one or both members of the couple have one), and how to rebuild trust between people.

Plus, you’ll discover the difference between power and control in a marriage, and how to parent well without losing your identity as a couple.

In short, you’ll walk away with the tools and knowledge you need to cultivate a marriage that is more sane and more fun; a relationship that not only lasts, but serves as a source of great joy and self-discovery.

If you’d like to join the conversation, reserve your spot here, at no cost:

Your Marriage Is Worth Fighting For. Discover How To Make It Fulfilling! 

Consider this a “one-stop shop” for optimizing your marriage—and it’s all complimentary!
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As always, I welcome your comments and questions.

Surviving Infidelity: A Step-by-Step Guide to Healing

Holding HandsIt’s the first question most people ask when seeking couples therapy after an affair: “Can my marriage survive?”

Most are relieved that the answer is, yes. Continue reading

7 Relationship Myths Smart Couples Don’t Fall For

hands-raisedIf you think marriage is hard, raise your hand.

Yep. You and everyone.

Yet, when the going gets rough, it’s as if we develop amnesia about how universally challenging marriage can be and think, instead, that our struggles are a sign that things have gone terribly wrong.

We don’t say, “No big deal. We’ll get through it. All couples struggle.”

What we do is freak out. Continue reading

The Surprising Truth About What Makes Happy Couples Happy

Senior couple kiss situation in white isolated backgroundThey make it look easy, don’t they?

You know, those cheerful couples you see chatting away in the grocery line, holding hands in the movie theater; the ones who’ve been married forever and they’ve still got their spark.

Ever wonder, how do they do it? What do they know that I don’t?

Back when I was struggling in my marriage, everyone looked happier than my husband and I. Continue reading

“If You Really Loved Me…” and Other Desperate Measures For Getting Our Way

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who
can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman
who can’t sleep with the window open.
— George Bernard Shaw

iStock_000015015850XSmall

Frustrating, isn’t it?

You ask your partner for something and the answer is no.

Yet, you still want it. It’s important. So you ask again, this time hoping the answer will be yes.

But what if it’s not? What’s your plan B? Continue reading

10 Surefire Ways To Turn A Small Fight Into A Big One

bombIt’s no secret. Couples have fights.

But not all fights are created equal. Some start small and stay small while others pick up steam as they go and leave a mess in their wake.

And the difference in outcomes is not random.

Have you ever seen a fight coming a mile away and done nothing to stop it?

Or worse, just for the heck of it you did your best to provoke it?

Sometimes we’re like that. We’re short-fused or irritable or maybe we’re bored. Or, as a friend likes to say, we’re simply a fight looking for something to pick itself on.

Other times, the last thing we want is yet another knock-down-drag-out about unloading the dishwasher, but we feel powerless to stop it.

The truth is: we’re not. Continue reading